loopylouise123 | 5 times you know you're a married couple when...

Title: 5 times you know you're a married couple when...
Summary: The title explains all.
Pairing: Dick/Roy
Warnings: None, unless you count fluff as a warning. ^^
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1, 466
Disclaimer: DC owns them, they would never allow them to be this happy.
Notes: I am writing those request fics... this bunny however locked the rest in a cage.

You argue over the food you buy…

“Fine, buy it then. Just don’t come back moaning to me when our daughter ends up the same size as a miniature hippo.”

Roy threw his hands up in the air, frustrated and wanting to laugh at the absurdity of it all. “They’re only lucky charms, you can’t keep this delight from her.”

Dick raised an eyebrow, amusement obvious in his face. “Uh-huh… tell me why we need to buy this cereal again when you’re the only one who eats it?”

Roy flushed. “She does, but she never finishes the bowl, I just eat the rest.”

Dick hummed and put the cereal back on the shelf before he took one that didn’t ensure a sugary death. “And Roy?” He added while looking his lover up and down. “It’s not just Lian’s weight I’m worried about.”

Roy stood there dumb struck for a few moments, watching as Dick disappeared around the corner before he managed to work his brain back into gear. “Excuse me?! Who are you calling fat?! Grayson get back here!”

&&&&&&

Any friends your partner has becomes a threat to your relationship…

It was known throughout the whole community that Nightwing, despite being brought up by the Bat, was the most sociable and well-known hero, apart from Superman of course, but Roy wondered when that started to be a bad thing.

Probably when he noticed that far too many heroes took notice and appreciated the skin tight uniform, and that those same heroes agreed with the un-official fact that Nightwing had the greatest ass on earth.

Roy knew that they weren’t threats, since Dick only had eyes for him, but he still took immense joy at stating his claim, even if Dick didn’t.

“I have no idea what has gotten into you.” Was hissed into his ear inside an empty room, since Dick had dragged them there after Roy had practically groped him in front of everyone in a Justice League conference.

Roy didn’t understand the problem.

“Don’t you like me doing that?”

Nightwing gave him the most incredulous look, still effective even with the mask. “At home, yes, in front of close friends, I don’t mind, but during a briefing in front of all those heroes? No.”

A mischievous smile played across Roy’s lips, his green eyes glinting behind his own mask.

“It’s not funny Roy; Batman looked like he was going to blow a fuse.”

The grin faded, but that same playful expression didn’t truly die. “You can’t blame a man for trying to defend what is his.”

Dick looked innocently unaware for a moment before realisation dawned on his face. “I don’t believe…. You were defending…” He sighed tiredly, both annoyed and touched. “Roy it was sweet of you but completely inappropriate.” Dick then leaned forward and kissed Roy lightly. “You know that I love only you.”

A successive grin bloomed on Roy’s face but when he tried to wrap his arms around his lover’s waist his hands were batted away.

“As I said, that was completely inappropriate.” Roy watched as Dick turned and headed towards the door. “You’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.”

&&&&&&

Both you and your partner team up just to ruin the dating chances of your kid…

The boy, Roy recalled he was called Brian, ate happily from the plate of biscuits Dick had given him while his little Princess was getting ready upstairs.

Roy wondered what the hell Short Pants was doing being nice to the enemy, and had only managed to stop the urge of throwing the teenager out when each time that urge grew strong his lover’s glare would stop him.

But Roy knew Dick was a sneaky Bat, and this biscuit thing had to be part of some subtle plan.

“So how did you meet Lian?”

The boy smiled confidently, his handsome face lighting up and Roy had guessed long ago what had attracted his baby to this overgrown, blue eyed, snarky little…

“She’s in my gym class and she started to talk to me after one of our lessons.” He paused to take another biscuit. “She’s really good at gymnastics, she said something about you teaching her?”

Dick nodded, proud at Lian and her skills. “I teach it at the gym just a few blocks from here, but Lian has always been a fast learner.”

“Damn right.” Roy said and was pleasantly pleased at the fearful glance Brian gave him, since the stance that Roy was in just shouted protective Father.

Dick ignored him. “What about your other subjects? Do you enjoy anything else apart from sports?”

The teenager shrugged, not really bothered about the question. “Nothing else is important. I suppose English is okay… but it all seems pointless to me if I just get the grades I need.”

Roy wanted so badly to grab the boy by the scruff of his neck and throw him out. His baby girl did not need this idiot as an influence!

“Really?” Dick smiled, and Roy smiled with him. He knew that look, sometimes being raised by the Bat gave him advantages, in this situation especially. “Because I think all your grades are important.” Dick’s voice dropped and Nightwing came to play. “Especially Lian’s, and if you cause her marks to slip even by a fraction of a percent I will make sure that you will never be able to play sports ever again.”

Roy took his cue and stepped forward, putting his hand on the now ghost white boy’s shoulder. “And if you ever hurt my daughter you will be the first to experience the sharp end of my archery training.”

It was then that Lian decided to make her grand entrance, dressed beautifully for a date that unknowingly for her, wouldn’t progress to a second.

&&&&&&

Getting a pet seems a good idea…

Dick laughed silently as he watched his lover try to argue with their cat, an overgrown ginger tabby that seemed determined to steal pieces of meat that Roy had put aside especially for dinner tonight.

“Listen Tiger.”

A fitting name considering the many stripes lining her back.

“This food isn’t for you.” And the cat was pushed off the kitchen table again, Roy giving up on being gentle with it as his anger bubbled.

Tiger blinked up at Roy for a few moments, it’s wide green eyes silently pleading.

“Oh no you don’t” The archer muttered as he tried to ignore the face, the one that always bested him, and Dick continued to watch, not lending a helping hand.

The cat let out a high pitiful meow…

A small piece of beef was thrown down onto the kitchen floor and it was gone in a flash, while a happy purring bundle of fluff licked her lips.

And Dick laughed, while watching his embarrassed lover grumble under his breath while he continued to cook.

&&&&&&

The imperfect seems perfect…

Jake was in his room sulking again, angry at his Fathers for taking his elder sister’s side of the argument. It really wasn’t his fault that the car screen had been smashed, he really had no idea how his baseball had managed to go through the window and it was just his luck that Lian had been watching from the window at the time.

Downstairs Lian was shouting at her Papa for hanging up the phone.

“I can’t believe you did that! Mark is going to think that I just hung up on him!”

Dick nodded satisfied. “Good, then maybe he’ll think twice when deciding to spend two hours on the phone with you.”

The fifteen year old just screamed in aggravation and stormed upstairs, frustrated that her mobile had been smashed after she brought it on patrol with her and angry that she couldn’t apologise to her friend… maybe more.

Roy shook his head at his daughter’s dramatics and slid an arm around his husband’s waist, chuckling into soft black hair after hearing Dick groan while he buried his head into his archer’s shirt.

“What are we going to do with them both?”

Roy smiled and carded his hand through Dick’s hair. “Jake will do some extra chores around the house, until he can pay back around half of the damage he’s done. And Lian’s phone privileges will be cut short until she can buy herself a new mobile.”

Dick snorted and leant into the touches Roy was giving him, and then winced at hearing the loud argument brother and sister had started.

“I keep wondering where the days of quiet have gone.”

“I don’t think we ever had days of quiet short pants.”

Dick smiled fondly, even when he heard a door slam and he kissed his lover soundly on the lips. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”